I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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