My brain says no but my pants say off.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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