eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
