I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The power of my boobs compel you
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
