she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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