My balls are so social today.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
