Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
