Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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