AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
