Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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