what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
you never un-have a 4some
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
