Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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