I'm really into asian looking animals
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
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