I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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