i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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