Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize