Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
