Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
