I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
