pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just found puke in my bra..
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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