worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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