If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
