Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
