Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Shame - the story of my life.
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