i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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