Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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