do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
