i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize