He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
