If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
