I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
