everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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