and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
