i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
