I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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