i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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