I cockslap morals
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
