At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
