I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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