His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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