Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize