and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
