So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
