thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
