I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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