i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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