Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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