Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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