I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
