Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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