Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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