were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
