from now on my penis is your penis
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize