it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Randomize
