I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
