I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
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