I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
