At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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