May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
