That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
