I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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