Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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