so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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