Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
