was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
