I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
