my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I have post one night stand depression
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
