Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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