She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
