This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
