She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Boobs speak an international language.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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