No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
