My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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