She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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