Just mADE A PArabola og urine
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
