I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
